ANGER MANAGEMENT Twelve Techniques
1. Breathe deep and take long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you’re angry you’re actually panicking. Using this and other anger management techniques will also help you to relax and calm down.
2. Walk outside and look at the sky while you’re doing your deep breathing. This will help you to put things in perspective, and it can have a soothing effect.
3. Do some stretches. When you’re angry your body gets tense and rigid. The stretching will open up some of the tight areas of your body and get more oxygen flowing to your brain and help you think more clearly. This and the other anger management techniques are good for body, mind and soul.
4. Tell yourself it’s going to be OK. Talking to yourself in a soothing, calming way is one of the best anger management techniques. Say to yourself, “Something good will come from this. I need to make good decisions now so that I don’t add to the problem. I’ve gotten through tough times before, and I’ll get through this one. I know that deep down I’m a good person who means well.”
5. Get some paper and start writing. Write about how mad you are and why. Don’t be nice, reasonable or rational in your writing. The point of this particular one of the anger management techniques is to get your anger out on the paper and purge it from your mind. Keep writing until you feel some relief or release, and don’t stop until you do. Now be sure and use the next of the anger management techniques, to end on a positive note.
6. Write about what you have to be grateful for, what you appreciate about your life, your self and the person you are mad at (if you can). Gratitude, appreciation and optimism are some of your most important and powerful anger management techniques. You may not want to admit it, but when you’re angry you might just be feeling sorry for yourself, and gratitude is a direct antidote for this. This two-part journaling process is a great healthy alternative to getting revenge.
7. Imagine that you are at the funeral of the person you are mad at. What would you say. What would you miss about that person if they were gone? If your anger is too strong to do this one, skip ahead. You’ll know your anger is too strong if you feel “glad” at the thought of their death, or if you feel nothing at all.
8. If you know how to pray, then by all means pray. Pray for God to guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry. Sometimes it really helps to get down on your knees for this. You may wonder why this is in a list of anger management techniques, but rest assured that if you use it effectively, it will help you tremendously.
9. Imagine that you are the person you are mad at. Put yourself in their shoes. This is the power of empathy. Look at the situation from their viewpoint. Not only is this one of the most powerful anger management techniques, it will help you in all of your relationships in a variety of situations. How do you look to the other person when you’re angry? Is that how you want to look? Decide who and how you want to be and act as if you were that already. Learn more about how to deal with angry people.
10. Remember a time in your childhood when you were afraid, hurt or angry. In your imagination, embrace that child, saying “It’s okay. I’m here. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re a good kid. I love you just like you are. I’m not going to leave you.” Then take the child (your child self) out of the situation to a safe place where s/he can relax, heal or even play
11. Think about your values. What is the most important thing in the world to you? Who are the most important people in the world to you? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want people to remember you? Decide that you are that person and you are living by your values, and act as if it were so. This is one of the fastest of the anger management techniques, and it puts you in touch with your true nature, the way you were designed to be.
12. Take further action! Make up your mind right now that you’re going to get to the bottom of your anger management problems and master the art of controlling anger once and for all